My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
