apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
