I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i came on her dog
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Even my vagina gasped.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
