I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
