Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
