I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
