the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
being pregnant is like rehab
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
