maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
