I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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