I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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