I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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