i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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