shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
