dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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