cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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