Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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