So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
