i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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