I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
