I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize