She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
just found out that she named her cat after me.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
