Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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