I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize