Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
