I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
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If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
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Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
false alarm, still single
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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