I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Randomize
