Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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