I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
