Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
