this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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