so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she smelled like a LAN party
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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