yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
