Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize