): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
