Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
