grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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