is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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