so explain again why im purple
no
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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