I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You're earring is so big in my mouth
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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