I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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