I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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