under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize