didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
