She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
