So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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