Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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