so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
