And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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