The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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