He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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