If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
