Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
