why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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