Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
