How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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