the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
